As I sit here tonight, I am just over 2 months away from my 40th birthday. I am at the heaviest weight I have been in my life. I don't know exactly what I weigh, because my scale ran out of batteries and I haven't gotten a new one yet. That's on my "To Do" list. But when I weighed over Christmas break back in Missouri, I was just under 275 lbs. I NEVER thought I would see those numbers staring back at me.
I hate the way I look. My belly is bigger than a pregnant woman's. I hate that in a few short years, my sons will be embaressed to be seen with me. A friend of my oldest already asked him if his mom was the fat one. He was more hurt for me, but I told him I wasn't made at his friend. I am the fat one. I hate that about myself.
(I didn't tell him I hate that. I don't want him to feel sad for me.)
I can get really down on myself if I let myself, but I want to use this blog to write down the good choices I am making, with the hope that as my good choices grow more frequent, my weight will finallly start to go down. I have a long, long way to go. 100 lbs to lose. But I can only take it one day at a time. And so I do.
My good choices yesterday:
I ate a healthy breakfast.
I took a walk in the evening.
I did not eat ice cream or anything after dinner.
I drank water.
My good choices today:
I ate a good breakfast.
I brought my healthy lunch to work and ate that instead of going out.
I did not eat ice cream or anything else after dinner.
I drank only unsweet ice tea and water all day long.
The time has come to do this, once and for all. I owe it to myself, and to my family.
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