Where's the joy?

I realized something as I got out of bed this morning: I don't look forward to eating like I used to. In fact, I had to force myself to eat one scrambled egg and half a glass of milk. This diet had become so restrictive that I don't even enjoy eating anymore. And that can't be good.

Eating is one of the joys of life. Before, I enjoyed it so much I let it get out-of-balance, and ate without thought to my overall health. That wasn't good either. But I do think there needs to be some kind of balance. Some way to enjoy eating food, and yet still achieve a healthy weight-loss.

I know I am on the most restrictive phase of this diet. I know this won't last forever. But I'm seriously considering just doing phase 1 for 1 week. I'm not sure I can handle it much longer.

It's not that I'm hungry, because I'm not. And honestly, my tummy issues that go hand-in-hand with my metformin have gone away. (Because I'm not eating refined carbs, which metformin cause to go right through me!) I'm not having headaches anymore either, and I do feel more energy. But I don't have any appetite at all, and I'm basically forcing myself to eat so that I have energy to get through the day. It stinks.

I know there are ways to get more variety on south beach, even on phase 1. I even found a great blog web site with lots of recipes to try for all phases. However, due to Winter Storm 2010, I'm not sure when I'll get out to the store again. And, if I'm being really honest, I don't enjoy trying new recipes as much as some people do. Especially if I'm also expecting my family to eat them. I'm not a very strong cook, and I always worry that whatever I'm making is not going to turn out right or that my family isn't going to like it. I think that's one reason why I've not taken the cooking duties back from my husband, even though I stay home now. I don't have any confidence in my cooking abilities. And some of these recipes call for ingredients I've never heard of.

Excuses? Maybe. But it's reality too.

I know that if I want to stick to any healthy eating plan long-term, be it south beach or weight watchers or low-gi or whatever, that I need to be proactive and plan meals and cook things that fit in with that healthy plan. I cannot expect my husband to change all his cooking habits and make things that I can eat, especially if I'm not willing to do it myself.

Today, my goal is to make a phase 1 chili recipe that I found. I have all the stuff for it. I know they boys aren't going to eat it anyway because they don't like beans. So really, even if it flops, it will only affect me. And who knows? Maybe it will be good, and will get me through another day! We'll see.